Wacky Wednesday

Well this will be short, just wanted to get on here and praise God for all he has done. I have lost 8 lbs. since I started going to Walk the Walk, yay me. I pray for more strength and motivation. For those who pray for me, thanks.

Jennifer

Tugging at my heart strings

So lately God has really been working on me and he has really been talking to me, maybe more so now, cause I am reaching out to him more. I have prayed I will know what he is calling me to do, and as if he is in my ear, all I can think of is children, like I said yesterday, girls, whether it be little girls, preteen girls, or teen girls, is something I can relate to and want to make a difference with. So last night I prayed and prayed, and almost like a light bulb went off, I thought of a mentor, you remember when you were younger, things happened in your life that scared you, changed you, whatever and you felt alone, and felt like no one understood, well I want to be the person who wants to make a difference, who someone can talk to, relate to , all that and more. Girls are God's Princesses and I want to start a program where it is geared towards girls, so they can learn about being God's Princess, where they can be treated like royalty, and just have girl time. I hope this doesn't sound insane, and it is a lot of rambling, but this is what I feel lead to say, so I pray for more guidance, to show me what I need to do next. What do yall think? Am I crazy! Lots of prayers, please.

Blessings,
Jenn

Spiritual Gifts

Last night, I went to my first FLO class, and I really, really liked it. I cracked up at the ladies in there, you can truly tell it was a room full of women. As my husband refers to it, cackling hens. HA! Well in the class we took a survey on our personalities, I am a golden retriever by the way. I was not shocked by this, which I guess you could say is perfect for me. I said I didn't want to be a golden retriever, only because sometimes I wish I could be a little better about standing on firm ground. Work in progress, people. We also talked about our spiritual gifts and how we could use them in church. So, anyway. I went home last night and thought about my spiritual gifts, and I talked to Philip about it on the way home from church, telling him I had no idea what my gift was. Is it wrong to ask someone to tell you what your spiritual gift is? No, really. I filled out the survey, where you circle from 1 to 4, 1 being lowest, 4 being highest, on things you are interested in. I rated the highest in administration (no surprise), writing (no surprise there, either), evangelism (wow), and faith (wow, too). I was totally surprised by evangelism and faith, which when you read where you could use these in church, it gave examples of being a new member sponsor, new member project leader, so on and so on, and I could so see that, I could see me being involved in a new member program, a part of a committee, something along those lines, so I asked myself what the problem is. Well, one, I guess my hesitation is fear, fear of rejection, fear that someone might say I am not spiritual enough, another work in progress, well maybe there is not another excuse, because this is a big one for me. I really have to pray about this, because I am not one to jump out there and say come on let's do this, when everything inside of me is screaming for me to be this person. Well folks, if you read this, pray for me and that I will listen to what God is telling me, and I will find my calling and do something I am passionate about and really enjoy it. Oh, by the way I thought about the thing that makes me go YAY, is children, especially girls. When I first wrote that sentence, I wondered if that sounded right, but all children melt my heart and I love too see them growing up and how they change over the years. I love little girls, for one, I am a girl, and two, I love dress up, and all girly things, I know if or when I have children, the Lord is going to bless us with a boy, because He probably figures I need that experience in raising a boy, and our budget would plummet because I would buy everything in sight that was even close to being girly. HA! So I am thinking of what I could do for our girls in the church, and I am going to pray about it and ask God to lead me in the right direction.

Whew, this is a long post, sorry, I just get on a roll and type away.

Many blessings,
Jenn

God won't you make me a momma

This is something I have been known to say so many times. Oh how I long to be a momma, to bring a child into this world, and have he/she serve a mighty purpose. I long to hold my own baby in my arms and feel the love between a mother and her child. I see in my husband's eyes, also, how he longs to be a father, and I believe in my heart, he would make a great one. I always believed out of my friends, I would be the first one with children, and to say, I wasn't, is heartbreaking. I really am happy when I find out one of my friends is pregnant, but naturally I am a little sad, because I want that to be me. I know God has a plan and he does things in his time, and if I have heard once, I have heard a million times, be patient, it will happen, well to hear that, and not really know for sure, it's not comforting. I used to love watching the Baby Story on TLC, but now every time I do, I cry, so to keep me from being an emotional wreck, I choose to stay away from it. I love looking a baby clothes, dreaming of different ways I would decorate the nursery, some times I can get lost in it. My husband pretty much doesn't talk about it, because it hurts him. Here we are, doing right, good honest hard working people, and we can't catch a break, I cry out why God, why not me. It hurts it really does. I remember one time, I honestly believed in my heart, I was pregnant, I just knew it, took a test, said negative, waited another day, took another test, nope, nada, nothing, well two days later my little monthly friend came along, and boy was I upset, I cried, I screamed, and I begged, my husband had to leave the house that day, it was too much for him, and I cried out to God, why can't I be a momma, why can't I have that, what have I done to deserve this, I cried for an hour, I know, and then all of sudden I quit and was at peace, no more tears were shed. I haven't cried over not being a momma in months, and I won't say I won't cry again, I am saying it seems a little easier to bear. Nothing would make me happier than to be a momma, and I want that above all else, but I have to leave it in God's control, and let him lead the way. I have found out I do have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, don't know the specifics, but it does make conceiving difficult, so I am on medicine for that, and there are other issues I am faced with, which makes the situation even harder, but I pray for comfort and patience. I remember when I was younger I said if I didn't have children by the time I was 30, I would not have any, well I am 30 and a couple of months away from being 31, and my husband said well I guess we will just have children in our 30's, believe me this was not part of my plan, I planned on having two children by the time I was 25, well considering I didn't get married until I was 27, that was out of the question. My OB GYN is all for me having children this late, she said women are doing it more and more these days, but she wants to get on the fast track, so in her words by the time I am 35, I will have two. Whew. I say if the Lord blesses me with one, I will be fine. I do have twins on my momma's side, my momma is a twin, and I tease Philip, that is what we will end up with, he doesn't find humor in this, because having two at once, scares him. Heck, me too. I know there are so many out there walking in the same shoes as me, and I know they have shared the same heartache I have, I pray for our comfort, and pray we can give the complete control to God, I honestly have to work on this, I am not good at giving up complete control of anything in my life. I just know God hears my prayers and holds them close to his heart, I pray that he will guide my doctors in the right direction in the trying to conceive journey, and I pray that as I have to go through this trial, I am strong through it all.

This is my prayer I say quite often:
Lord, I thank you for all you have given me and blessed me with. As I do everyday, I praise you for all things. I pray to you right now lord, to take this burden off of my hands, you know the prayer I pray nightly, to be a momma and make my husband a daddy, you witness the pain we both share, and I ask that you lead us in the right direction, you guide the doctors, and you wrap your arms around us and give us comfort in these trying times, Lord you know how many times I have cried out to you, begged you, I pray that when I feel the need to do that, you will give me the strength to overcome it, and know you are in control. I pray I can give you all the control. Lord, I pray for those who are walking the same walk as I am, will know comfort, and I pray they find comfort in you. Thank you Lord for what I am, what I have, and what is to come.

Your child,
Jennifer

Chatter

Well it's just about Friday, and I am really looking forward to the weekend
I plan on doing one thing Saturday and that is go walking for about an hour, then I don't want to leave the house again until Sunday morning
I will be one of the only people in my office, tomorrow, and it's gonna be boring
My husband doesn't feel good today, and I hate it when he is sick, cause he acts like a little baby, LOL, but really I do hate when he is sick
I got my hair cut last night, not drastic, just trimmed, but on March 13, I will be doing something drastic, stay tuned...
I could literally lay my head down on my desk and go to sleep, I don't think my boss would love that, just saying, I could
I wish I could have the body my mom had when she was my age, she was a size 4 and was beautiful, I will never be a size 4, my body doesn't understand size 4, but I would like to get to the weight and size I was when I met Philip
My nephew (michael) saw an old picture of me on our mantle and asked his Uncle Philip who that hot momma was, Philip told him it was me, as if Philip would dare have a pic of another woman on our mantle, anyway, when he found out the pic was of me, he said Aunt Jenn, what happened, HA!!! Kids say the darndest things.
It is such a beautiful day today, and not as cold as it has been
Can't wait for spring, ready to get my yard back in order and ready to buy some more plants for my back patio area
I have the forms to sign up for three 5k Walks in March, I am praying GOd fives me strength to do this, wish me luck

Many Blessings
Jenn

Wacky Wednesday

1. I am extremely tired today, and I don't know why.
2. I enjoyed Walk the Walk at church last night, I really look forward to going.
3. I would like to get who ever would be interested to start walking with me on Saturday mornings at the park by my house, I don't like walking by myself.
4. I feel so much better now that I have been exercising, and I could bend over last night and touch the floor, two weeks ago I could not do that.
5. I wonder if me and Philip will ever have children, I pray about it, but I think I am not putting it fully in God's hands. I am learning....
6. I have 15 years to go before I have my time in with the state, UGGHHH... but ten years flew by, so maybe the 15 will fly by too.
7. I welcome any and all prayers for my journey into spiritual growth, I am learning to be a better person and a better Christian.
8. It seems like there are never enough hours in the day, when I finally get off this evening, I have to get my hair cut, run to Pet Smart, then to Kohl's, to return shoes, and then home, to do my daily chores, and then somehow fit a little exercise before I take my shower and go to bed, WHEW!!!! No wonder I feel rushed during the week, and don't want to rush on the weekends, I like to move at my own pace.
9. I want to take up painting, and really want to try Easely Amused, but don't want to go by myself, don't think I can convince the hubs to do it
10. I can't wait until March 20th, I am going to attempt my first 5k Walk, all prayers are welcome and I am sure will come in handy, this will be a great esteem booster for me.

Many blessings.
Jenn

Tuesday's Blessing

So last night, me and the hubs went to Red Lobster, good food, bad service, so I don't know if we will go back, after we ate, we went to Academy Sports and my husband being a big sports guys, immediately started going in I want this, overload, every where he went he wanted something, I was like whoa back up, let's focus on the mission, a bat, because my husband is forming and playing softball with our Church. Well I am not all that knowledgeable when it comes to stuff like that, I watch it, but have never played it,and my poor husband tried and tried to explain the difference between different things, but to no avail. To the point, see I told you, I get off the point path, he ended up getting three bats for the price of one bat, had they not been on sale, which he got the other two in case someone didn't have a bat and wanted to use his, so thoughtful, huh? Part of me thinks he really wanted to have three bats, I didn't know until last night he never owned his own softball bat, nor owned his own bat bag, (yeah he got one of those too), but I was happy to see him run around like a little boy looking at all the stuff, and seeing his eyes light up. But he did good, cause if he had his way he would have walked out of there with gloves, shirts, pants, softballs, anything he could have thought of. LOL. Well speaking of walking out of there, me and Philip get in our car and were sitting and talking waiting for the car to warm up a little, and noticed the man who had tattoos all over his face and head and a woman, who walked in while we were paying for our stuff, were running out, I told Philip I bet they just stole something, he was like no way, and then I saw the associates come running, and the man and woman took off in their car, luckily we got the tag number and we were able to give it to the store associates, so maybe the police were able to catch them. I will pray for those two people, that God speaks to their hearts and they will change their ways, because in my eyes there is nothing worse than a thief.

Well on to thanking our God, for giving me the motivation to start Walk the Walk, continue on that, and giving me the strength and encouragement to start preparing for the 5K Walk in April. I went out and bought me a heart rate monitor, calorie counter watch, last night, and I am very excited to see how that works. I found out I have went down two bra sizes, so that makes me feel so good. I will continue to give God his praises, because he is my motivator, and the one who pushes me when I feel like I have no strength. Thank you God.

Well I hope everyone has a blessed Tuesday.

Many Blessings
Jennifer

It's Monday again...

Well it snowed on Friday, and I got a snow day, not a given one, but I took my own personal snow day. Me and Philip were both off and we played and played in the snow, it was fun. We got lots of pics, and made a snow man, who only stayed upright for about an hour. I love snow and its beauty, and I give God the praises for letting us have the opportunity to see it.

We missed Church yesterday, for several reasons, one being I laid in the bed until 3, but really didn't get a good sleep. The other being, me nor Philip set the alarm, so at 10:45, Philip woke me up to tell me what time it was and to ask if I could be ready in 15 minutes, well no, unless I was going with no makeup and my hair a hot mess, I mean I know God sees me at my finest and my worst, but I don't really want other people to see me looking rough. But my point, I hate missing church, it seems as if my week doesn't start off right, which low and behold, it started off crappy, drama and all, but I will pray for those that are creating turmoil in my family, and ask that God give me the strength to accept not everyone has good sense.

I really can't wait until July 16th, me, Philip, Michael, and Nicole are going to Atlanta to see an Atlanta Braves game, we will be there until Sunday, I think it's gonna be a blast. I want to lose a good amount of weight before we go, so I will feel good about myself, and enjoy myself a little better, knowing if I have to walk around, I won't be out of breath so easily.

I am going to start preparing to do a 5K walk, in April, I am really excited, I believe it will be a great self esteem boost, if anyone wants to join with me, come on. I have learned in order to lose the amount of calories for the week I am supposed to, I must walk for 45 minutes three times a week woo hoo, it's gonna be a challenge, but I know with God's help I will conquer this.

I got a stuffed lion, a rose, and a cute card for Valentine's Day, my husband does so good at this, he makes my heart melt, every time he shows me just how much he loves me.

Well I hope we all have a good week.

Blessings,
Jenn

Let it snow, let it snow

Well we are supposed to get some snow later on this evening, and I really hope we do. Even though I will probably have to be at work tomorrow. Boo!!! I love snow, and love playing in it. My mom has tried to get me to come up to New York during the winter for years, I want to play in it, not get lost in it. Me and my friend Kelly went up there one year in May and it snowed, a lot. So I don't think I will be trying the winter thing. Snow is so pure to me, it's almost like it wipes all the bad things away for just a little while, where everything seems at peace. Bring on the snow, lots and lots of it, I want a SNOW DAY!!!!

I am in need of seem intense prayer, there is a issue going on in my family, which I know the Devil is all over this, and it has really bothered me. I have gotten to the point, where I am not backing down and letting people walk over me or my husband, I am actually speaking my mind and letting my feelings out, and I am shocking all those involved. When someone tries to hurt someone I love very much, I go on the defense and want to attack, but instead of attacking I have called these people out on their behavior and also told them we don't need unhealthy in our lives, and that is the direction we are taking. Me and Philip are trying to be better people, get better involved in our church, and every time the Devil rears his ugly head, but this time I am prepared and I am praying, and I have someone praying with me, and I am stronger because of this, I will not allow people who are cold, evil hearted to hurt me or my husband again. I am able to stand my ground, and not back down, because I know even if I fall I have the good Lord picking me back up.

Well yall if you get to stay home tomorrow and it snows have a good time.

Tuesday Tuesday

1. It's cold outside, and the heat at work is out, figure that out, and they don't know when they will be able to fix it. Thank goodness for small heaters
2. I went to an Arts and Crafts get together at our church and had a lot of fun, we made Valentine's day cards for the shut-ins. It made me feel good to do this, and I hope the lady I sent mine to knows how much went into making the card, and really hope she knows she is loved, especially by God.
3. I heard one of the ladies, talk about her little boy, when she explained what they were doing, he told her he wanted to make a card to go to Haiti, this made my heart melt, for a little boy to understand the devestation the people of Haiti are experiencing and want to send something over to lift someone's spirit, is awesome. Way to go little man!
4. I am still heart broken for Peyton Manning and his loss, but find myself really enjoying watching Drew Brees and the Saints celebrate.
5. I saw pictures of where 10,000 people were waiting for them when the Saints got off the plane in New Orleans, all I can say is WOW
6. I am following my food intake on myfitnesspal.com, and I am really enjoying it, and find it very helpful, but I will admit, I did not enter the food I consumed during Super Bowl, I would have probably exceeded my calorie intake for the next year. LOL
7. I want to do something new to my hair, but don't know what, cutting it short is out of the question and dying it is too, so I think I will go with a new style.
8. Yes after 5 years of having long hair, I decided to cut my hair one day and surprise my husband, boy was he surprised, I think he wanted to cry, he had no problem telling me how bad he hated it, so then I cried, but after washing it and seeing how short it actually was, I understood the shock he felt.
9. After spending this past summer without being able to put my hair in a pony tail, I decided never again, I would not cut my hair too short where I could not throw it in a pony tail, is too dang hot people.
10. I need a pedicure so bad, it's ridiculous, but am almost too embarassed for someone to see my feet, don't get me wrong, I clip my toe nails, and scrub my feet with some tool I bought, and I put lotion on my feet, but it doesn't compare to the treatment they get when I get a pedicure, maybe I will do that next weekend.
11. I hope it snows Friday, but I really hope I get to stay home
12. I hope I get to sleep in Saturday
13. I hope Philip doesn't have to go out of town this week
14. I get really aggravated when I call somewhere and have to speak to twelve different people before I get to the right person
15. I can't wait to go to Walk the Walk tonight, I missed all last week, and really need to get back in the swing of things.
16. I have decided I am going to make myself get on my eliptical trainer three nights a week, I know it won't be long before I will actually get to the point where I don't want to miss it, but I am so not there
17. My dogs looked so comfy laying in their beds this morning, wish I could have stayed in mine
18. Philip's new Gevalia coffee came in yesterday, and they smell so good, but I hate coffee so I won't get to know what they taste like, coffee makes me sick to my stomach
19. One of the coffee is creme brulee flavor, and when I saw the box, it reminded me of the Nationwide commercial,where the two guys are tailgating and the one guy mispronounces all the food, I laugh every time I think of it, especially how he says creme brulee. LOL
20. Well we have made it through Monday, now on to the rest of Tuesday.

Manic Monday

The Saints won the Superbowl, finally.
I was pulling for the Colts, because Peyton is my all time favorite, but I was glad the Saints finally got a championship. I do like Drew Brees alot, and after reading articles and watching his pregame interview, I have a renewed respect for him, not only for what he has done for his team, but for New Orleans. I am sure for the Colts it was a humbling experience, and you know what they say sometimes you have to get knocked down only to get back up. Peyton and the Colts will be fine and can start fresh next year, I mean come on, they have made it to the post season the last 7 or 8 years.

The only thing I am dreading is my husband gloating, we didn't kill each other last night, but there were times it got intense, LOL. It makes him proud, though, to have a football buddy in his wife, two for one kinda deal.

Well it is the start of a new week, and although I am ready for this weekend, I am looking forward to what the Lord has in store for me, this week.

Well I pray we all have a good week, and we remember to Praise God for the blessings of another day

Funky Friday

Thank you Lord Jesus for letting this day be Friday, and the last work day.
This week has been hard for me, I have had to deal with a sinus infection and an abcessed tooth, talk about a whole lot of pain, I can't even describe it to you. But I finally got the nerve up to call the oral surgeon and schedule a consultation visit to get my wisdom teeth out,so at least I am moving in the right direction. I have had to miss Walk the Walk all this week, and I have hated it, I don't want to get out of the groove of going, and besides I had a setback at the doctor the other day, my bp is still up, so now my meds have been doubled, and this was not at all what I expected to hear. I have officially lost 3 lbs, but I have a long way to go, and pray I have the strength to keep going even on my down and out days. I must give God his praises, because this program is what I have been praying and searching for, and I thank him for putting Danyelle in the right place and right time to start this. I also must give him praises for the new people in my life, I can't wait to see what impact we have on each other's lives. Well that's enough for now, I am ready for the Super Bowl, and it's gonna be loud in our house, I am for the Colts and Philip is for the Saints, pray for us, that we don't kill each other. LOL

Jabbering Jenn

Today the ole Groundhog Phil saw his shadow, so six more weeks of winter
I have to leave work early to get maintenance work done on the car, excited about leaving work, not excited about sitting at a car shop
Tonight is Walk the Walk, and I can't wait
I want a Wii, so I can get Wii Fit, maybe one day
I am really looking forward to going and seeing the Atlanta Braves play this year, we are taking the niece and nephew
I really want a big glass of tea, that will be the first thing I get when I get home, love tea, but mine is made like syrup, so it's not exactly good for me
I am proud to report, I have lost two pounds in a week, woo hoo
I love my new wireless mouse at work, it's so much better than all the wires on my desk.
I have a tendency to give looks that could kill, and don't mean to, a little something I picked up from my mom
I have being praying a lot lately that the good Lord will send me in the direction he wants me to go, to show me where I need to be in our new church, still working on it.
My husband is forming a men's church softball league with Steve Stapleton, and I really hope there is a good participation, he will also be doing something with the youth this summer, he just doesn't know what yet, prayers and more prayers.
I realized the other day, that some times the people you are closest to, can be the first people to hurt you the most. Prayers on that also.

So anyway, blessing and prayers to everyone.

Scattered brained

Scattered brained is what I get called alot, and I guess you could say for the most part I am. At any moment, I can have a hundred things going on in my mind and I hardly ever finish a story before jumping to another one. This makes my husband so mad. So if you follow this blog and you get confused, I will eventually get around to making sense.

I felt the need to thank God for this day and this life he has given me, thank him for my husband, the people he has placed in my life, whether long term or short term, and most of all thank him for the sacrifice he made for us. Thank you God!!!!

Whole bunch of thoughts

1. The weekend goes by way too fast
2. I am thrilled beyond thrilled, that me and Philip found a wonderful church home
3. Yesterday's sermon hit home with me, when Calvin talked about harming your temple and neglecting it, and not listening to the warnings (I am a poster child for this)
4. I keep dreaming about a blue eyed baby, wonder if that is a sign
5. Wonder if that would be possible considering I have dark brown eyes and Philip has hazel eyes.
6. I am so looking forward to the Super Bowl, but it's gonna be tough in my home, I am going for the Colts, and Philip is going for the Saints
7. I have watched Peyton Manning play football since his Tennessee days
8. I am a Tennessee fan and my husband is a big Ole Miss fan, makes for some interesting times when they play each other
9. I am really looking forward to what God has in store for me, I feel each day I grow closer to him
10. I had an awesome time at our church Fellowship last night, it was nice to talk to some folks who didn't know us and we didn't know them
11. I am at work on this Monday and all I can focus on is how after today, only four more working days til the weekend, that is awful....
12. I enjoy going to Walk the Walk, it has made a big impact on me, and really hope if anyone is hesitant, they at least try.
13. The first day I went, I tried to come up with 50 different excuses not to go, and I am so glad I went.
14. I have to find the nerve to get my wisdom teeth cut out, I am so scared.
15. I am looking forward to the spring, not so much the summer, but the spring, so I can do some yard work.
16. I somehow missed the boat, when it comes to gardening, I can't keep flowers to save my life, I water and feed them and they still die.
17. Plants I can do, we had a Boston Fern, it just died due to the arctic blasts we seem to receive every other day, it was too big to go in the house (I will get another one this spring)
18. My husband is my best friend, he is the only person I tell everything to, sometimes he wishes I wouldn't though, he is not good with the girlie stuff. HA
19. My two dogs have become a very special part of my life, when the good Lord takes them, I will be crushed beyond belief, I wonder if I could comprehend then what it would feel like to lose a child
20. Lastly, I pray for a safe and happy week, I pray for patience, humbleness, gentleness, and most of all the good Lord to give me the strength to hold back a little when I feel the need to give my opinion (this is something I have inherited from my husband, he has no problems sharing his opinion, if you don't want it from him, don't ask cause he tells it like it is)