Letter To Santa

Dear Santa,
It’s been a long time since I have written you to ask for the latest toy, gadget, doll, or clothes. This year, Santa, I am asking for a different kind of Christmas wish. All I want for Christmas is for my friends and family, to know our personal savior, Jesus Christ. If there is anyone in my friend or family circle,who doesn’t have the light of Jesus Christ in their heart, they will see He is in mine, and will seek me out to find out where to get the light. Santa, I ask for those who wonder what a miracle is, that I can read to them the miracle of Jesus’ birth, and many miracles after that. I ask when you get your sleigh and reindeer ready for the night, you pray over my gift, and when you come down my chimney, and place the gift under my tree, I ask that the gift be wrapped in God’s love, and you address it like this;
To: You
From: Jesus Christ, I love you!
Whoever receives this gift, will know Jesus loves them and all his Children on this day and every day.

Have A Merry Christmas, Santa.
Thank you and God Bless You!

Jennifer

For This Child I Pray

Disclaimer: I am not crazy for doing this. The Lord really impressed upon me to do this.

I am not sure if your hair will be like mine or like your daddy's, will your eyes be brown or hazel? Who will you look like the most. All bets are on your daddy. The Westerfield gene, they say. I am not sure when you will be created, but I already pray for you. I pray for God to guide me to be a wonderful mother, who can raise a child to serve a mighty purpose, to shine the light of Christ, through them. I pray me and your daddy will love you just like our God loves us. I pray we are good keepers of the Lord's child. I pray for you knowing you are only mine for a little while, you truly belong to our God. I pray you are given to us with a heart of gold, and a love for everyone, like no other. While I am not sure when you will come along, I have faith in the Lord, he hears my cries, he sees my sorrow, and he provides me comfort. I know he will deliver, because he is my Deliverer. So for this child, I pray. I cannot wait until you are here and I cannot wait to praise God for the true gift of becoming a mother. I praise God every day for all that I am blessed with, and do not take it for granted nor am I ungrateful for what he has already given me. Until the day I get to meet you, know you were loved before you were created.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for impressing this upon me to express, thank you for showing me understanding and comfort. Thank you for all the blessings of each and every day. Lord, I pray that I continue to remain in the faith of knowing you hear our prayers and they have been lifted up, and you will deliver.

In Jesus' Name,
Amen

Prayer

I have not blogged in so long, partly because I don't think people even read it, but I thought, you know I am doing this for me, so here I am.

I have been having this overwhelming feeling to pray for our baby, don't get excited, we are not pregnant, yet, that we know of. I have been praying for our baby specifically, praying we have a healthy, smart, God loving, child, I have even prayed for a specific gender. Then I stopped doing that, and prayed to God, that whatever we have will be a true blessing, boy or girl, he or she will be your gift to us, so I will not be ungrateful, and have such specific demands. My husband informed me the other day, not a day goes by that he does not pray for us to have a baby, such endless faith on his part. Y'all I have to admit, I said something the other day I never thought I would say, I said I have given up hope, I give up, and when I did, my husband looked at me and didn't say a word, he just stared at me. Y'all to understand this, my husband is never at a loss of words, he always has something to say, but when he said nothing and sat there and just looked at me, I immediately began to cry, because I knew I had hurt him to the point where there was nothing he could say. When the initial shock wore off, he told me, you have always been our hope person, throughout all the trials and tribulations we have faced, you have always given me hope everything will work out, and it always does. When I heard you say you have lost all hope, it made me scared to think, if you, meaning me, have lost hope maybe there is nothing to be hopeful about in this situation. WOW!!!! So after talking this out, I realized I have not lost hope, or my faith, I just had a moment of temporary insanity. Struggling to have a baby is a true test of faith, a true test in a lot of things, and it's important to know you have a good support system surrounding you. It is not always easy to talk to my husband about this, because he is going through this too. It would be selfish of me to say, it's not about you it's about me not being able to get pregnant. He wants a child just as bad as I want one. I see the way he looks at dads with their sons or daughters, and I see the longing in his eyes, he doesn't notice me watching him, but I do, and each time, my heart breaks a little. Y'all I am a problem solver, that's just how I am, but this is something that has me on my knees each and every day. It is frustrating to not be able to say, hey I can do this and it's fixed, but by faith and my love for our God, I know the reward will be ours soon. I pray I have the will and the hope to be like my husband and have the faith to know no matter what, even when I just don't want to keep fighting for this, to keep praying, to keep turning to God, and always, always know I am not alone in this, God is crying with me, He is walking with me, He is carrying me when I cannot walk, He is holding me in his arms when I am sorrowful. HE NEVER LEAVES ME!!!!! Amen for that...... If you do read this, I do ask you pray for me, for us, that our faith will remain strong, and please pray for our baby(future), that when he/she enters this world he or she will be entering it to serve a mighty, mighty purpose for our God.

Jennifer

Tuesday's thoughts

Kindness is the light that dissolves all walls between souls, families, and nations

How hard is it for us to be kind to others, we all have days where life throws things at us, where we don't want to be kind, not knowing what someone else might be feeling or going through. A simple hello or how are ya, could do a world of good.



You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

From the time you are little to all grown up, friends come and go, it's the true friends who are there for you no matter what, time apart and distance don't matter, friends that will cry with you, laugh with you, and share life with you, and don't mind if it's all done on the telephone.



If you're not using your smile, you're like a man with a million dollars in the bank and no checkbook.

A smile can go a long way. A smile is a symbol of your happiness pouring out of your soul.



Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

I love this saying, I don't think it can be said better, You are who God made, fearfully and wonderfully made, why would you want to be different from how God created you. My husband is the walking human version of this saying, he is who he is, he doesn't hide from anything and he says what he thinks, his philosophy is take me as I am, I will not change, and if you don't like it, oh well. I wish in some ways I could be a little more like that, maybe not as strongly as he is about it, but it's true, TAKE ME AS I AM, all or nothing.



Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man.

A child to me is of pure innocence, and it is up to us to not let the innocence be corrupted by the world. A child is a gift with never ending joy and love. What greater gift can God give, a child's love is a little taste of what his love for us is like. I am not a mother yet, but there are two people in my life, who have my heart, because in different ways they are so loving and caring, of course each child has different ways of showing it. Nicole telling me how great of an aunt I am, Michael telling me how important it is for me to be at all of his games, football or baseball, and unless I am on my death bed, there really is no excuse good enough to why we might miss. HA



I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.

Life happens, some good, some bad. I have been defined by things that have happened throughout my life, I found strength, compassion, and love along the way, but not once do I pity myself, because without these things happening, I would not be where I am at or who I am today.



Patience is the companion of wisdom.

It took me a long time and I am still sorta working on it, but patience is not one of my strong characteristics, I am quick to want everyone to react and work the way I do, only to learn the world doesn't work that way. I believe patience comes with faith, if you believe God will handle it, he is in control, and it will work out, by fbelieving in faith, patience just comes naturally. Believe me I have had to learn great patience trying to understand the plan God has for me and Philip as far as us having children, but I know he is in control, he will handle it, and it will work out, so by my faith I am patient.





Jenn

It's Monday, Boo!!!

Well to start things off my husband called me and told me he got a ticket for running an invisible stop sign, I called and the ticket is $160.00 (may I say, WHAT!!!!)
This weekend was busy for us, Nicole and Michael stayed with us for the weekend, we loved every minute, but after they left I was wore out. To think, we haven't even had our first child yet, OMG!!!!!
We went to Gatti Town, mine and Philip's first and last time to go. It was way crowded, and I know the same man ran into me 4 times on the way to and from the buffet line. The food was not so great, the games were fun for the most part. Me and Nicole loved playing the ski ball game, we racked up on tickets on that game, Nicole ended up with over 200 tickets. But there were some rude folks in there, rude I tell ya, we only stayed for like an hour and half. i do not recommend this place to anyone, we will continue to search for another place to go with the kids
Yesterday was our ministry fair at church, I am going to be teaching the 1st and 2nd grade Sunday School class, I am so excited....
The hubs signed up for the recreation ministry, (figure that) which I hope goes well for him, I would love for him to find something he really enjoys and will help him get out there more.
Well I hope everyone has a wonderful Monday.

Finally Friday

OMG, school started back today, cannot believe it, where did the summer go?
My niece got to wear a little bit of makeup to school this morning, I am so proud for her, as I know she was thrilled. I still can't get over how much the kids have grown, can we please stop time. I feel old....
I am starting something new, and way out of my comfort zone, I am talking way out, I am going to be teaching Sunday School, yeah me, little miss never do anything by myself or volunteer for anything, out of fear of being laughed at, just a small itty bitty issue I deal with from time to time.
Football season is right around the corner, I CAN NOT WAIT, do you hear me, CAN NOT WAIT. Baseball is great and all, but I am a football gal, and besides I am having Peyton Manning withdrawals, I might be a little obsessed. HA!!!!
I woke up this morning 35 minutes before the alarm clock was supposed to go off, UGH!, hate when that happens, because I am afraid if I lay back down I will sleep through the alarm, be late for work and all that, so I just got up, and made breakfast. Let's just say Hubs was surprised.
I am not a big breakfast person, can live without it, I guess that is from the 7 years of working on the evening shift, that my breakfast was every one else's lunch, the hubs on the other hand, total opposite, has to have his breakfast, on Saturdays he wants a full meal, eggs, bacon or sausage, biscuits, grits, UGH!!!! Me I can be happy with just a biscuit.
I recently discovered that I could possibly be shrinking, or either I never came to terms with how short I am, probably the latter, some how I missed the boat on being an average height. Both my parents are not tall but they're not short either, me on the other hand, am short, depending on what day it is, I am 5'1 or 5'2, both of the doctors I see, show different heights, so who knows, maybe I am 5'1 and half.
I wish I could hire Martha Stewart to come decorate my house, or at least clean it
I am super obsessed over my house being clean, especially with the potential being someone can show up unexpectedly, I have this fear if my house is not always clean and someone shows up, they might leave talking about how nasty my house it, which never is, but you know what I am saying, it's just an OCD I have.
I get told when we have a child, I will change, and that makes me crazy too, cause I want to believe I will be supermom, take care of the baby and still mop my floors every other day, but I know I am only setting myself up for major disappointment, because if the choice is cleaning versus spending my time with a precious baby, I am picking the baby
I am not too sure what we will do this weekend, but I am sure it will be fun, the niece and nephew will be with us, all weekend!!!! I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

Jenn

On Friday countdown

1. This week is dragging by, I guess it doesn't help I have had to be at work before 7 the last two days because philip has been going out of town.

2. I for some reason am in a baking mood, I am going to try out a new cookie recipe this week, maybe they will turn out better than my brownies did.

3. I am amazed at how time flies, I can remember meeting Nicole and Michael the first time, they were 3 and 5, now they are 10 and 12, and it's breaking my heart to know they are growing up, and the day is coming where they will be too cool for Aunt Jenn and Uncle Philip. Ha....

4. I am helping out in our 1st and 2nd grade sunday school class, this week I will be teaching the lesson, I am so excited, I have made a poster for the visual and gone to buy the treasures for our treasure bowl.

5. It's hard to believe school starts next week, football is right around the corner, and Christmas will be here before you know it. AHHH!! I say every year I am not gonna wait until the last minute, but we are always out buying someone's present on Christmas Eve.

6. I am hoping to have my wisdom teeth surgery at the end of this month, even though I am nervous, I am ready for it to be done and over

7. We got our paperwork in the mail yesterday for adopting a baby, I didn't realize what all was involved and how expensive it was, this made me a little crazy, because when I say expensive, I mean it. We are praying about it, and praying that if this is something God wants us to do, he will guide us to the answers of how we will pay for all the expenses. I can't help but wonder if this is what God has wanted us to do all along, but we just ignored him, I don't know we will see, Pray for us, that whatever God has in store for us, we will follow obediently.

8. I got to take some good ole dessert to some pretty good people, who just had a baby, a boy named Jonah Scott, it is our youth minister and his wife, and they are really nice, it made it so easy to go over there knowing I was going to see a new baby. I love me some babies!!!!

9. I plan on hanging out in the pool this weekend to keep from melting, the high for Sunday without the heat index is 100 deg. that's hot.

10. I am going to pick up my niece and nephew this afternoon, so me and my niece can have mani/pedi day, and so the nephew can see his new bunk bed, I hope he likes them, his uncle philip worked hard getting them set up for when he came over.

Well I hope yall have a good day.

Jennifer

Friday Fun

1. I can not believe in two weeks, all the kids will be back in school, where did the summer go?

2. I am so glad it's Friday, looking forward to getting some things done around the house, and maybe find some time to rest

3. I am about to jump into unknown territory and do something I have never done before, God is with me, so I am calm.

4. I can not believe in two and half months, me and the hubs will have been married 4 years and together 7 1/2 years, honestly, it seems longer, but I absolutely love being married to my hubby

5. I want to start painting again, I really enjoyed doing it a while back, and it helped me relax, I don't think I am going to try free hand again, though, that is certainly not my gift. HA!!!

6. I had a friend of mine who lost his life this week, he was so young, (38), it was such a shock to his family, but he was needed more in heaven than on earth. RIP David Lambert

7. I am so pumped, football season is right around the corner, I am ready to see the Colts play again, for those that don't know, I am a huge Peyton Manning fan, I have watched him play since he was at Tennessee.

8. I really enjoyed the Atlanta Braves game, I have had to learn to like baseball, since that is hubs' favorite sport, and honestly I love it.

9. I think I am gonna go to Life Way this weekend and buy me some Beth Moore books, I have been told her books are great, so we will see.

10. Well everyone have a good day, and a good weekend.

Many Blessings.

Jennifer

Our Atlanta trip

So we left at 7:00 am Friday morning, heading towards Atlanta, and I was ready for the moans and complaints to begin right off. I was ready for don't touch me, Aunt Jenn he/she is on my side, are we there yet, blah blah, nope none of that. This is because Michael and Nicole slept pretty much the entire time, and for the first time I didn't. I don't know what it is, as soon as I get in a car I want to go to sleep, I usually sleep the entire time of a road trip, and the poor hubby drives the whole time, but this time I was awake and really enjoyed just talking to the hubs, and talking about how excited we are to be going to Atlanta. So after forever driving we made it to the hotel at 4, they are an hour ahead of us, got everything unloaded and started getting ready to go to the game, me and Philip found out what it's like to live with a pre-teen girl, 45 minutes later she is out of the shower, so we are late leaving, and by the time we started getting near the stadium, traffic was at a stand still, OMG, by the time we got to the stadium, parked, walked to the stadium, it was 7:15, game time was 7:35. Let the excitement begin. Well because I don't know much about how the stadium works in major league baseball games, I ordered our tickets on the brewers side, which meant we sat by brewers fans, boo!!!!. We encountered a group of drunk brewer fans, and they showed out, I wondered out loud to my husband who the designated driver was, because everyone in their group was intoxicated, he said probably the one who will be the least drunk, another OMG. Can you imagine. I can't see how they could afford to drink there, the beer was $7.00 a can, the only reason I know this, the vendor dude wanted to hang out in front of our row and scream it out. Well needless to say as Chipper Jones comes up to bat, which by the way is my husband's favorite baseball player, the vendor guy stopped right in front of the hubs and talked to the drunken brewers fans, hubs was not happy, so politely, ok maybe not so politely, told the brewers fans to stop talking to the vendor and for the vendor dude to move, chipper was his favorite player and this is why we came here, the drunken guy and the vendor both apologized, needless to say it didn't happen again. Well the Braves ended up getting beat 9-3, we left in the 8th inning. Saturday we all got up, got dressed, went and had breakfast, then headed to the aquarium, I am thinking oh this is great it's early, we will get in, look around, and have the rest of the day to do something else. WRONG!!!!! When we got there, there was a line out the wazoo, did I mention there was 7 family reunions in town that weekend, yeah lucky us, well I am guessing these families were all wanting to go to the aquarium. Well long story short, after 3 1/2 hours of standing in line we got our tickets, but still had to wait for another 2 hours before we could go in, so we ate lunch and hung out downtown. When we finally got to go inside the aquarium, all the time we had to wait, was wiped away, it was so worth it, the aquarium was awesome, with all the fish, alligators, beluga whales, sea lions, sea otters, and a whole bunch of other stuff, Michael and Nicole got to touch a sting ray, a baby shark, jelly fish, and some sponge like thing, which they thought was really cool. The aquarium was by far my favorite, and I think it was the kids too. Well let me say, after spending all that time downtown, we were more than ready for something real fun, so we went swimming at the hotel pool, and we had fun, the kids and philip played noodle war, it was philip against michael and nicole, and I have not heard or seen them laugh this much in a long time, I got so tickled. The rest is nothing excited, ate dinner, got packed to come home the next day, then went to bed, the next day we had to do the forever drive again. By the way, on this round I got the don't touch me, he/she is on my side, are we there yet, why is it taking so long, but it was worth it. Nothing is better than knowing I got to spend the weekend with my most favorite people, the hubs, Michael and Nicole, and to hear them tell us how much fun they had, and can we do it again next year, but this time stay a week. OMG!!!! I was glad to get home to my babies, and my bed, I missed it so much, when you are used to a california king bed and have to sleep in a double, it makes for some uncomfortable sleeping. Oh well! I am so glad to know we made memories for us and for the kids to remember for a life time.

Jennifer

Praying so hard

Longing to love, longing to hold.
Fighting back tears when someone
else shares their wonderful news.
My heart breaks in two everytime
I hear it, see it.
So many time I question, why not me
why not us? What did we do to deserve
this emptiness and heartache.
When will the day come for us when we
can be known as mommy and daddy.
Instead we get the looks of pity when
people ask if we have children and we
tell them we don't have them yet.
I hate the pity look about as much
as I hate the saying, it will happen
give it time.
Four years is time and throughout
these four years the ache in my
heart has not grown weaker
I see the pain in my husband's
eyes, when he sees a father playing
with his children, I see the longing
he has to be a father.
I wish I could snap my fingers and it
would happen.
I wish I could close my eyes and fast
forward to the time I know I am going
to have a baby.
I am left wondering, what if I hit fast
forward, and that time never comes, that
I forward to the end of my days, childless
I pray and I pray, do I ever pray.
I know God is in control, I believe in him
I know he hears every word I cry out to him
Maybe I should pray differently, Maybe I
should ask differenty, and it will happen.

Maybe just maybe

Random thoughts

I really, really tried to talk myself out of coming to work this morning,but here I am, counting down the time until 4:00. A night of restlessness, doesn't make for a very chipper person in the morning. Philip beat me up this morning, which is a miracle within itself, that never happens during the week. It took me a little while to get motivated. Between my all out war with exhaustion and these lovely heat waves, I am experiencing, I don't know what is going on. I took a nap yesterday, I do not do that, only because I am afraid if I do I won't sleep that night, well I had no problem going to sleep, it was the staying asleep part that was hard. Between getting up to tinkle, drink something, throw the covers off of me, pull the covers from under Philip to have any when I didn't feel like I was melting away, I felt like I got no sleep, which is why I am dragging today. BLAH BLAH BLAH is how I feel. This weekend was nice, Friday night me and Philip didn't do much, Saturday I cleaned and then we went and ate at Amerigo's, yummo, I loved it. Then we came home and we both took a 2 hour nap, when we woke up, I was craving ice cream. Off to Kroger we went, and believe me when I say this, it was so good, we got vanilla, chocolate, peanut butter and chocolate topping, and reese's pieces, I loved it, I know I already said it, but it's worth saying again. Yummy!!!! Sunday, of course we went to church, the sermon was great, Calvin talked about honoring the Sabbath Day, I know so many people who don't do this, I am one of them, instead of resting at least part of the day, I work at doing something, but yesterday I didn't, and it was nice. Which is why I probably took a nap, b/c I was too relaxed, but it was nice anyway. Well I know my life is not all that adventurous and pretty boring, but I love my life and all the simplicity that comes along with it. Have a good day everybody.

Jennifer

It's Thursday

Well it's Thursday, and I can not wait until this weekend, and I plan to enjoy the heck out of my weekend.

Philip is finished with softball, they came in 2nd in the championship game, they played in Pearl Day, and got eliminated in their first two games

Now that Philip and Nicole are through with ball, I can enjoy being home at night during the week and not having to rush. Michael is still playing select ball, but that's only on the weekends.

We are in countdown mode for our Atlanta trip, so ready for it. I hope we have a good time.

It's been so hot outside, that I have had to be more inside than I like, but I have caught up on some reading and my chores get done a lot quicker.

I am ready to be able to go walk again at the park, without having to go real early or late in the evening.

Me and the hubs are going to join a gym together, Philip said he really wanted us to do this together, so we are, I really hope I like it and stick with it.

Well Happy Almost Friday, have a good day everyone.

Jennifer

Yep it's Friday

Thank goodness it's Friday, this has been the longest, shortest work weeks I have ever experienced, and I do believe I am going to need all weekend to recover from this. I need a long vacation. Won't be happening anytime soon, so I will just deal. Philip and our church softball team played in the first tournament game for interleague, and they won, barely, but a win is a win. I saw my husband take a hit going to 1st base and then take a pretty nasty tumble, it scared me to death, I know he is tough, and Susan Cockroft said well you know human bones are 4 times stronger than concrete, I felt better, but I was still a little freaked out. He's good today, though. Sunday starts our VBS at church, I am so excited, but so stressed, between this, Philip playing next week, and other things going on, I am about to scream. Like I said I need a long vacation. The only thing close to a vacation we have coming up, is our trip to Atlanta, with Michael and Nicole, and I can not wait, especially since the Braves are red hot right now, let's hope they stay that way. Well I hope everyone has a good weekend.

Jenn

You got to be kidding me....

I could not wait to write this blog, I even told Christie, read it, it will be good. Last night our guys played in a softball game for the church league, and this lady supporting the other team, acted as if she missed the boat on sense. I was like really, you're kidding. There was a play that went our way, which was controversial to the other team, and this lady went wild. Our very next batter, fouled a ball off and it hit the umpire, this woman says, well that is what you get when you don't play fair. I was like are you serious, surely she didn't say that. Then she started screaming, come on guys we know who is on our side, I was like ok who is she referring to, surely she is not insinuating our team doesn't have God on our side, but low and behold she was. This made me angry, and after listening to her scream for another 5 or 10 minutes, I was like ok someone needs to shut her up before I do. Sorry, that would be the red head coming out in me, but not very Christian like on my part. Well I guess she finally realized we were whooping her team, she finally quieted down, or somebody told her to hush, who knows. But folks, when you are out supporting your church team, you should not act like a complete crazy person. Yes I know I am out there yelling for our guys, and if my husband makes a bad play, I am the first one to tell him so, but this, people was insane and over the top. I know people can get crazy with competition, I am married to a very competitive person, all or nothing people, all or nothing, but even he couldn't top this. I was embarassed for her. So as they were walking off to leave, I saw this woman, and she was one mad lady, and I made eye contact with her, and I smiled at her with the biggest smile I could muster out, and she looked at me as if I lost my mind, but I felt good about that, because yes I could have been ugly, I could have said some things to her, but what would that have done, I would not have been any better than her. In her mind she was probably thinking who is the cheese ball smiling at me, but in my mind I am thinking this is what God would want me to do. So the lesson folks you never know when your actions make a lasting impression on someone, whether good or bad, because I can surely say I will not forget this lady none too soon.

Have a good day everyone.

Jennifer

Learning the hard way....

I have learned the hard way not to be so stubborn and hard headed. If you ask Philip I am very stubborn and hard headed, and if my mind is made up there is no changing it, no way, no how. When I am of strong opinion of something, I can plant my feet in the ground, and give no room to be budged. My daddy told my husband on our wedding day, I will pray for you, you will need it to deal with my stubborn and hard headed daughter, I love her, but there won't be very many battles you will win with her. HA. Love my daddy, but dang he could have scared the poor man away. But after being with me for 3 1/2 years already, I think he already knew. Bless his heart. HA! Don't take this as me being all out mean, because I am not. I believe I am loving, nurturing, a person who loves everyone, and a person who takes pride in the family and friends in my life, I am a Christian, working on the strong part as we speak, and there is more I could say, but then I would feel as if I am being boastful, or proud, and I am not gonna go there. My point is this, I learned these past few weeks, there is one area in my life I can not be stubborn or hard headed about, it is my walk with God, because he is leading the way and showing me my path. This has been so hard, because the first thing I want to do is dig my feet in the ground, and not be budged. Well it ain't happening, and God shows me this, I have met my match. Low and behold, there is someone out there, who can outwit my stubborness. God does work miracles. Ben Beasley preached Sunday morning, and his message was great, he said we as Christians are God's love letters to man, what does my letter say to man, would my love letter woo a non-believer to become a believer, I am unsure, and I know I better get sure real quick. I need my light to shine and I need people to see me shine. I pray for this daily. I know God is working on my heart and he is showing me where my direction in life needs to go, and I am sure when my stubborness kicks in, I will have to be guided back to the right direction. Pray for me in my walk with God, that I will allow him to have complete control, and that I will not dig my feet in the ground so far I can not be budged, pray I will try new things, I will not be afraid, and I accept wholeheartedly my spiritual growth.

Jennifer

Dear God

Dear God,
I thought I would write you a letter to say thank you. I want to thank you for showing your presence to me so much this week. I want to thank you for giving me comfort when I felt like all hope was lost, like I have felt the last few weeks. You God, alone, are the only one who truly knows what I have been feeling, and you have taken my pain away, and replaced it with peace. I want to thank you for the man you gave me to be my husband, I thank you for his love and understanding, and I thank you for showing me how to be more gentle hearted towards him. I truly know I am loved by him, and even though things are never always perfect, I know when I am sad, hurt, mad, or just plain crabby, he is the one I can turn to, to give me the tlc I need. My husband is truly my best friend. I want to thank you for showing me that when I feel like I can not catch my breath, because life is way too busy, to slow down and enjoy your creation. I often feel like I am in a whirlwind and I can't stop, so I know I can call out to you, and ask you to show me how to slow down and just say enough. I want to thank you for kicking Satan to the curb this week, when he entered into my home, I want to thank you for showing me that me and my husband are stronger than we give ourselves credit for. I want to thank you for opening my husband's heart to adoption, which is an idea we are exploring, and we know through prayer, and if it is your will, it will be done. We have not given up on you as far as having a child of our own, but we also realize that we might be ignoring something you have been telling us along. We pray for a child for us to have, love, and nuture, so if it is your will for that child to come to us a little different than we expected, then it will be done. Most of all God I want to thank you for loving me, even when I shouldn't have been, thank you for never turning away from me, even when I turned away from you so many times. There is no greater love than what you have for your children, and at times I am overcome with emotion thinking of that. It is almost uncomprehensible. Thank you God for your love, your forgiveness, and for making me who I am, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Jennifer

The Westerfield's

Well, Philip and the men's church softball team played last night, and lost. Boo!!! But it happens, if I could just get my husband to realize that, and not take it so hard. He is his hardest critic, and he pushes himself further every time. It's all or nothing with him. We wonder why his nephew is like that. HA!

I must clean my house tonight and do laundry, because I don't want to be busy all weekend, I want to enjoy it and relax a little.

I can not wait to get in the pool, and relax, maybe get a tan this year, yeah I doubt it, I will just freckle. HA!

Well not much to say today, hope everyone has a good day.

Jenn

The Westerfield's

Another Monday gone, now on to Tuesday....

Last night was the church men's softball game and they kicked butt, 12 runs in the first inning, the team as a whole is great, and there are some ball players on the team. Really glad Philip is having fun, I am wore out, but what else would I be doing.

Vacation bible school is right around the corner, and I am super excited. It will be my first one, doesn't that sound awful, but I never got to go to one growing up, and never got asked to help anyone before. Sad, I know, but it's all good.

We are on countdown until our Atlanta trip with the kids, 56 days, seems like alot, but it will be here before we know it.

I have had to call out Satan for trying to be tricky in my home, and it has been a battle, but I feel like we have won. Nothing major has happened, it's just some emotions me and Philip have both had to deal with and for the first time in a real long time, neither one of us knew how to handle it, all I could do is cry out to God to send peace and comfort and ask for mercy. I know in my heart he listened because I feel a sense of peace

I don't want anyone to think there is something wrong with mine and Philip's marriage, we are solid, it is nothing to do with us personally, just other unhealthy people in our life, for the first time in my life, I realized Satan can manifest in human form. I believe he did this, so we could not fight back, well how wrong was he, because we are, with God right there with us. That's about all I can get into about that, but welcome any and all prayers.

Well have a good day, everyone.

Jenn

What Woman of the Bible are You?

Me and my sister in law, Kitsy, were talking and she told me she took a quiz on what woman of the Bible are You? After talking with her about this, I decided to take the quiz @ www.quibblo.com, (type in what woman of the Bible are you in the search bar), and this is my results....

Ruth- the meaning of self sacrifice for what is true. You do so much with little regard for selfish needs. A strong, good, and faithful woman. God has blessed you. Ruth 2:12

I really hope this is how people perceive me. I hope my unselfishness shines through, and that people know without a doubt I am a strong, good, faithful woman.

If you get time, take the quiz and see what results you come up with, I would love to hear feedback from y'all on what your results were.

Jenn

Faith

Faith…
What does the word Faith mean to you?
According to Wikipedia it means to have confident belief or truth or trustworthiness in one person, concept or thing.
I have always thought of our God when I think of faith.
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
—Ephesians 2:8-9

When people ask me how do you know God is out there, how do you know he hears you, I always say I believe by my Faith. Don’t get me wrong, there have been numerous times, I thought for sure God was ignoring me, only because I had been ignoring him for so long. I am sure we all have had our faith rocked, I know I have had. Where things seem so bad and you cannot get from under it, you think I am all alone; God cannot help me through this. The problem is, we are not seeking God out during these times. I have a huge problem, because I like to be in control, with letting God take it and handle it. I am stubborn, and I am sure he is growing weary of the tug of war game we constantly play. Lord, know this, I am working on it.
I have lived through two divorces with my mom and dad, then my dad and step-mom, due to me being so young with my mom and dad’s divorce, I can’t remember being sad over it. With my dad and step-mom, it rocked me hard, I couldn’t believe after 17 years of marriage, it was over. That was the first time I had someone tell me I look through rose-colored glasses, because we were a life of dysfunction. Now when I look back on it, I see how all things involved were not good. I was so angry at God, I cried out to him, how can you let this happen, how can you tear this family apart. Why, God, Why, I cried this out every morning and every night, for months. I began to rebel, as you might say, and I had not a care in the world, I began to self-destruct, and if anyone got in my way they were coming down with me. This went on for awhile, then I hit rock bottom, almost lower than rock bottom, and I couldn’t do anything but cry out to God, please help me, please help me with this, because I cannot do it alone, and at the age of 21, I was saved. I was baptized at Country Woods Baptist Church in Byram, Ms, by Bro. Rob Futral, I will never forget that day, and it was so serene for me. I will not sit here and lie and say everything has been peaches and cream ever since, I lived through another dark time with Philip, the devil waged war on our lives, and for a short period of time, he won. After I couldn’t take it anymore, once again I cried out to God, please get me out of this, please I can’t go on like this, well God did get me out of this, he got both of us out of the situation we were in, he healed us, physically and spiritually.
So, on to the point, yes I have been rocked hard, I have been angry, I have cried out more over things than I care to, but no matter, whether I accepted it or not, God was always there, he never left me. I have pushed him to the side, numerous times, I have ignored his guidance, and taken over when I felt like he wasn’t moving fast enough, but every time he has shown me, He’s Got This, I need not worry. Have Faith and it will all work out. I have learned when I cry, God cries along with me. I am not alone, no matter how alone you might feel in this world, you will always have God. I do not envy people who do not God and Jesus Christ, but as my Christian duty, I know I need to try and bring someone to know our God and Jesus Christ and what they have done for us, and the great feeling it is to have them in your life. God gets all the glory in my life, and I am so thankful for my Faith, and that believing in my Faith enables me to know God is with me.

Lord, I pray for those who have not yet come to know you, which if there is one thing I can do as your child, to bring them to know you, please show me the way. I am thankful for the Faith I have, and thankful for having you in my life and that you will never leave me.
In Jesus Name I Pray
Amen.

The Westerfield's

Well it's Sunday, which means that dreaded day of the week is next. I do love Sundays though, we woke up late this morning, and I don't think I have ever seen me or Philip get dressed that quick, we made it to Sunday School on top of that, woo hoo.

The weekend was nice, Friday night the kids spent the night with us, and Philip and Michael had to be at the ball field at 7:15 am, they got to play two games, the rest was rained out, so it was nice to not have anything to do but hang out, the kids and Kitsy hung out at our house, until after 4 or 5.

Philip has two games this week, so it's going to be another chaotic week

I really pray the people here in Mississippi and in the other states who were affected by the storms have strong faith and know that God will see them through this.

I must confess I have not been exercising like I should, it's been so busy for us, but I made myself a promise I would get back on it tonight, my goal this time is 25 lbs, and I have to get on it to make it.

Well I hope everyone has a wonderful week.

Jenn

I guess Tuesday is better than Monday

Well it is Tuesday, not my favorite day of the week, but at least it's not Monday

Had a little bit of a scare this morning, Michael, our nephew, had to be taken to have an emergency cat scan, he has been complaining of a headache for a few days, and it got worse over time, so he had the scan and saw the doctor, who thinks it is either cluster of headaches or migraines, so he is on pain meds and medicine for nausea, (not sure if I spelled that right), so we are praying he can sleep and the pain will go away. I know my God is a Mighty God, and he is control of this situation. Me and Philip love Michael and Nicole very much, and it pains me to know when either one of them are sick, especially when there is not a whole lot you can do to make it better. Pray this is just a temporary thing, and not something he will have to suffer through all the time, I have not experienced a migraine, don't want to, but I hear it's awful, and I sure don't want him to suffer.

Well I hope everyone has a blessed day.

Jenn

The Wacky Westerfield's

1. Well we survived Philip's surgery on Thursday, I wish you people could have seen him on the anesthesia and the drugs the doc gave him, I didn't know whether to laugh hysterically or crawl in a hole, he was a riot

2. I missed Church yesterday, the one day he had pain it had to be yesterday. It's all good now.

3. I must be careful on how I answer my boss' questions, he asked in our meeting this morning, if we should move it to Tuesday, then people would be happy, I popped off it doesn't matter if it is Monday, Tuesday, or any other day we won't be happy to be in this meeting. OMG!

4. I think I am going to add some jogging in my walk tonight.

5. I was really happy to see Tim Tebow go in the first round of the draft, Philip was like I told yall, I am not sure who yall is, but I am glad for it, love me some Tim Tebow.

6. I am ready for football to start back up, I miss it, but baseball will have to do for now

7. It broke my heart when my sister in law called to tell me the nephew broke down in tears and had an utter meltdown when he found out his uncle was having surgery, poor little baby, he loves his uncle

8. Our niece made next year's cross country team, so proud of her, she gets her speed from her daddy, too bad her uncle missed the boat on that.

9. I want to go to the beach this year, but we will have to wait until next year. Can't wait, Destin here we come.

10. I think I might go home and sit on my swing, unless it's too hot,then I will go out back and sit on my new patio furniture.

Well happy Monday everybody, have a blessed week

Jennifer

Monday madness

So it's Monday all over again, I obviously did not want to get up this morning, the alarm went off at 10 til 6 and I did not get up til 6:30,oops.

It's sprinkling outside, great nap weather

Philip's first softball game is tonight at 8:40 pm, weather permitting

Me and Philip went and picked out our patio furniture, Saturday, and picked it up yesterday.

Philip is going to put a coy pond in our back yard, I am so excited about that, hopefully my baby dog won't jump off in it. HA

I only have to work three days this week, even though I will be taking care of my husband, at least I will be home

I really don't have a whole lot to say today, hope everyone has a good week.

E-Women's Conference

I am sure all the ladies who attended from our church will have something to say about this, I can sum it up in one word. Awesome...... I was a little hesitant about going, I don't know why, I just was. Friday and Saturday was great, and I found two new favorite singers, Mandisa and Jeremy Camp. They both rocked. The speakers were awesome, Chonda Pierce made my side hurt from laughing at her so hard. Listening to Sheri Rose Shepherd talk made me realize I am moving in the right direction with doing the girls ministry. It also helps when one of my fave women pokes me and says see you can do this. Love to you Mrs. Pauline. All of the speakers were awesome. I really liked Angela Thomas. But it's funny how God speaks to us, lately I have been seeking him out more and more, because I am hurting over not being able to give my husband a child. This hurt is so deep sometimes, I can't stand to bear it. It's funny, though. The hurt is not for me, it is for him, because I know he longs for it, and I at times don't feel like a total woman, when I can't easily give him a child. I have cried out to God, please help me through this, I am trying to be patient and wait for you, but as I am human, patience is not my strong point. I am a want it now person, and he is definitely making me wait this out. So, on to the point, Mandisa sang a song He is With Us, and tears started falling down my face like a faucet, because I needed to hear that, I needed to hear that no matter the circumstance, He is here with me. Never falling behind. I love how when I need to hear it the most, His words do not fall on deaf ears. I talked about the girls ministry I would like to start in our FLO class and I said if God set the plan for me to never have children, but I make a difference in one girls' life, then I have fulfilled his purpose for me. I am forever thankful for what God has given me in life. I am so glad I was able to share the E-Women's Conference with the ladies from our church, they are great, and I love them all dearly. Even though Christa and Christie won't get up Sunday and dance like Mandisa did this weekend, something about not wanting people to fall out. HA.

7 things about me

1. I love to paint, but I am a closet painter
2. I have three tattoos, one a butterfly, one a paw print, and a really big one of a leopard's head, not my proudest moment, but I am stuck with them, it was during my rebellious years and now I have constant reminders of why I am glad I turned my life around
3. I am part Italian, Irish, and German, how messed up I am
4. I love the color purple, so much so I want to paint a room in that color, hubs vetoes that everytime
5. I can watch Steel Magnolias over and over again and still cry when Shelby dies
6. My dad has a wonderful singing voice, he sings gospel songs and everytime he sings I cry
7. On the day I met Philip, I told my best friend I was going to meet my future husband today, and low and behold, God answered my prayer

Who am I

I absolutely love the song Who Am I, by Casting Crowns, every time I hear it, I truly am thankful for our Lord in Savior. But the question is
Who Am I? I know I am a wife, daughter, aunt, sister-in-law, etc. But Who Am I, other than that. It is so easy to get caught up in the everyday chaos, where it's norm to be referred to as Philip's wife, Michael and Nicole's aunt, Jeff and Kitsy's sister-in-law, and on and on. Did somewhere along the way, I lose my name? The real question, did somewhere along the lines I lose my identity? I can honestly say after much reflection and soul searching, yes I did. For the most part in a good way. I used to walk around with some pretty bad self esteem issues, I was very guarded with my heart, and people had a very hard time breaking down my barriers. I did not trust people, and didn't believe people could love me. It took my years to realize I have been loved all along, a love that never went away. God's love. So many time I resisted God, I resisted his love, I believed in my faith, I believed in him, but I was not ready to be belive I could be saved. Why would God want to save me, why would he want me as one of his Children, I am and will never be good enough. After my dad and step mom divorced, I hit rock bottom, my world was spinning out of control. Then one day it hit me, WHAM, I got the message, God loved me, he needed me on his side, and I needed him. I gave my life over to Jesus, and at the age of 21 I was baptized. Gone was the old and in was the new. I was on cloud nine. I will not sit here and say I was perfect, I will not say I lived a great Chrisian life from that point on. A few years later, the Devil made his way back into my life, and he stayed around this time, for three years. No matter what I did, I could not beat him, and by that time, I was weak, being strong was not an option. I was down on myself and the situation I was in, I became bitter, angry, because I was alone dealing with the Devil in human form, and he was attacking me and someone who I loved so much, who I wanted to help but did not have the faith nor the strength to fight this battle. I prayed, oh how I prayed, Lord please take me away, take me out of this situation, and he did, just not the way I expected it. I almost lost the one person who meant the world to me, and from that moment on, I knew what my purpose was, and what God needed me to do. I witnessed God's work that day, and have not looked back since. I have learned over time, I am not perfect, I will stumble, I will fall, and I will make some mistakes, but I know I have a very forgiving God, and I know no matter what he is always with me. So it goes back to ask the question, Who Am I? I finally learned, I am who I am, because of God, I am his child, and everything I am and will be, is because of him. I am thankful each and everyday, I get to be Philip's wife, Michael and Nicole's aunt, Jeff and Kitsy's sister in law, I am ever so thankful for that. I am also thankful God really has been impressing upon me to be more open to new things, not be so resistant, out of fear. There is a program I am going to be starting for our young girls and even our Pre-Teen/Teen girls. I am really excited about this, and pray God will lead me in the right direction, to make this a really great program. I pray those that feel lead to will help me in getting this program started. Most of all I pray that along my journey, I will not forget above all else, Who I Truly Am?

Wacky Wednesday

1. I do not know why, but I am super excited about it being Wednesday, maybe because it's closer to Friday

2. I got a new phone, it is a LG slider phone, and I love it, can't wait to start surfing the net

3. I have really got to start decluttering my house, and get started on some spring cleaning

4. I really should have a garage sale, but the thought of setting it all up and getting up that early, sends me straight into panic mode

5. I know I have said it before and I am saying it again, I love my church and the people in it

6. Baseball and softball season has begun, practice, practice, and more practice. I am stressing out just thinking about it, Philip is playing softball with folks from the church, and both Michael and Nicole are playing, AAAAHHHH!

7. I have got to change my diet plan up, got a good report on my weight and bp friday, but a letter came yesterday that my triglycerides are up a bit, so between the low sodium diet and now this, I am gonna starve, not really but I will be sacrificing alot.

8. I did my first 5K this past Saturday, finished in one hour and three minutes, but it wore me smooth out, took a 4 hour nap, and to this day, I am still recovering, but it's ok, at least I did something I wanted to accomplish

9. I am going to enjoy some sunshine this afternoon and go walking in the park, hopefully I can do at least two miles.

10. Prayers and more prayers, Philip is going to have surgery at the end of April, it is oral surgery, but alot is involved and he will be put to sleep, so please pray for him and especially pray for me during his recovery time, since he is a big Baby, LOL.

I pray everyone has a wonderful rest of the week.

Jennifer

Monday ramblings

1. The weekend went by way too quick
2. I woke up Saturday not feeling on top of my game, went to the park to walk, after one lap around, I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest, I did two laps though
3. We missed church yesterday, both me and Philip woke up sick, and I was having trouble catching my breath
4. Washed laundry yesterday, and on my second to last load, my washer decided to quit, so we will be buying a washer, AAHH!!!
5. I pray my doctor's appt. Friday goes really well
6. I wish I would have taken some time off this week to spend with Michael and Nicole
7. Michael was really wanting to come hang out with his Uncle Philip today, but he has to work to pay the bills, besides his partner is out on vacation this week
8. I was going to put highlights in my hair, but talked myself out of it, I am deathly afraid I will ruin my hair, and I definitely don't want that
9. I hope I am well enough by Saturday, I am supposed to do my first 5k Walk, I need to get some walking in this week to get better prepared physically, and I will rely on God to prepare me mentally
10. Well I hope it's a good week, and I hope it flies by as fast as the weekend does.

Jennifer

The Westerfield's

1. It's Hump Day, praise the Lord for this, I have had a rough week
2. I worked off 600 calories last night, woo hoo for me
3. I love the Peanut Butter and Chocolate granola bar by Quaker Oats, and they are only 90 calories
4. Lately, I have had to pray for someone who is hindering another person's spiritual growth and may or may not realize it, I have asked our heavenly Father to impress upon this person's heart to see things differently
5. I am really tired this week for some reason, I am hoping I can catch up on some rest this weekend.
6. Daylights Savings is this weekend, we spring forward, therefore lose an hour, all I need is to lose one more hour of sleep
7. It's raining outside and all I can think of, is crawling up in my bed, listen to it rain, and then take a nice long nap
8. I need to go and look for mine and Philip's easter outfit, I mean really we could find something Eastery to wear because we have plenty, but I like getting a new outfit every year
9. Easter weekend, is the weekend before my 31st birthday, just as always, it is either the day of, weekend before, or a week or two before, which is ok, what better way to celebrate my birthday than to celebrate Jesus being resurrected
10. I have to make the dreaded trip to Wal-Mart tonight, I hate going there, I spend way more money than I plan to, there is never enough lines open, and people can be so rude, especially on the grocery side. But, got to do what I have to do, might as well suck it up and get it over with

Have a good day
Many Blessings,
Jenn

Where did my weekend go

Talk about two days flying by....

1. I walked my three miles Saturday, it was a good participation, me, my friend Debbie, Kitsy, Danyelle, and Chasity, time went by so fast.
2. Michael(nephew)had a baseball tournament in Brandon, he did really good. On Saturday, he hit really well, stole bases, Sunday same thing again, hit really well, stole bases, and even pitched.
3. Philip was one proud Uncle, Michael did really good pitching for his first time out there this year, he is left handed so he is a hot commodity.
4. I am beyond tired at this point, I can't wait to get home and go to bed early tonight
5. I am getting something done to my hair I have never done, and I am scared out of my mind, I keep thinking I will hate it then I will be stuck, I have until Saturday to chicken out
6. Lately people have been seeking my forgiveness, don't know why, but I guess it's part of their healing process
7. I missed the FLO class, and really, really hated to, but I really, really enjoyed watching Michael play ball.
8. I plan on doing some yard work this weekend, and can't wait until we can start buying some plants for our patio area
9. I am gonna attempt to add 2 more days of walking into my schedule, we shall see how that will work in my already busy life
10. I hope this weeks flies by, by the way only 12 more days until my first 5K Walk. Can not wait.

Jennifer

Woo Woo Wednesday

Yeah I know a weird title, but I am in a weird mood.

1. I have been looking up recipes of different healthy things to cook for me and Philip, so far I have 10.

2. My calorie counter watch said I burned 354 calories last night, but I am not sure if that is correct, cause a doctor I know said that is awful low for the exercising we do, but if it is correct then I need to step it up

3. I am going walking tonight, I will probably only do a mile, depends, might do 2 miles

4. I have to get organized in my house, any volunteers on this project.

5. I do not like clutter, and that is what we are faced with right now, and I am about to panic thinking about it.

6. I need to have a mani pedi, especially before sandal/flip flop weather gets here.

7. I am trying not to doze off sitting here at my desk, but it is so boring today, I finished with my work around 10:30 this morning

8. I am currently shopping for paint, so me and Philip can paint the living room, hallway, and kitchen, should be loads of fun

9. I saw these cute zebra print high heels, tried them on, walked around in them, and they made me tall. HA! But they were not for me, I would have fell on my head and broke something.

10. I am ready for the weekend, so I can enjoy this nice weather we are supposed to be having.

Jennifer

Chatter box

1. I have a tendency to be a chatter box, but really only with my husband, I know when he is not hearing me, he might be listening, but he is not hearing me, and I call him out on it everytime. LOL.

2. I seemed to be getting a little busier each day at work, which I like, cause I am not banging my head on my desk begging for the day to end, cause I am so bored.

3. My husband told me last night he was really open to adopting, whoa, blew me away, because before it was ain't no way, now he's open to it.

4. I see my husband making so many good changes in his life, and I am so proud of him

5. I really need a nap, but won't happen, tonight is Walk the Walk, and I am leading it tonight, Danyelle is in Washington

6. Yeah me, leading an exercise class, who would have thought it.

7. I love my new comforter, for our bed, now I am on the hunt for matching egyptian cotton sheets, this is my husband's forte, he will not sleep on anything unless it is egyptian cotton, can we say SPOILED.

8. I really hope I form long lasting friendships with people in our church, especially the ladies in our FLO class.

9. I really can't wait for some warmer weather, not hot, melt your makeup off your face, but nice and warm.

10. Lastly, I love the Special K, Fruit Crisp bar, strawberry flavored. Love it, that is my new breakfast.

Many Blessings,
Jennifer

Random thoughts

1. Well it's Monday all over again, I dread Mondays, I am always running behind on Mondays.
2. I had a great weekend- walked three miles in the park by my house, and really enjoyed a little time to myself
3. I turned over a full pitcher of tea in my refrigerator, and it went all over it and the floor, took me an hour and 45 minutes to clean it up.
4. I really, really enjoyed our FLO class last night, there are some pretty woderful women in the class, and I can not wait until I get to know them better.
5. I overcame one of my fears, and presented an idea of mine, and it was well received.
6. I really wanted to go walking tonight, doesn't look like that will happen, oh well
7. My boss ate egg rolls for lunch, now I want some, but can't cause they are packed with way too much sodium
8. Me and my dog Butters have a morning ritual, where we both have to go wake up Philip, he jumps on the bed and won't let me get near his daddy, I have to call out to Philip, and I try to reach over to Philip, and Butters will either swat at me, lick me, or nip at me, to keep me from getting near his daddy, I laugh at this every morning.
9. I realized I enjoy painted, but am not great at it. It's a good stress reliever for me.
10. I am ready for Friday, I think I am gonna go on a date with my husband

Well I hope we all have a great week.

Many Blessings,
Jennifer

Wacky Wednesday

Well this will be short, just wanted to get on here and praise God for all he has done. I have lost 8 lbs. since I started going to Walk the Walk, yay me. I pray for more strength and motivation. For those who pray for me, thanks.

Jennifer

Tugging at my heart strings

So lately God has really been working on me and he has really been talking to me, maybe more so now, cause I am reaching out to him more. I have prayed I will know what he is calling me to do, and as if he is in my ear, all I can think of is children, like I said yesterday, girls, whether it be little girls, preteen girls, or teen girls, is something I can relate to and want to make a difference with. So last night I prayed and prayed, and almost like a light bulb went off, I thought of a mentor, you remember when you were younger, things happened in your life that scared you, changed you, whatever and you felt alone, and felt like no one understood, well I want to be the person who wants to make a difference, who someone can talk to, relate to , all that and more. Girls are God's Princesses and I want to start a program where it is geared towards girls, so they can learn about being God's Princess, where they can be treated like royalty, and just have girl time. I hope this doesn't sound insane, and it is a lot of rambling, but this is what I feel lead to say, so I pray for more guidance, to show me what I need to do next. What do yall think? Am I crazy! Lots of prayers, please.

Blessings,
Jenn

Spiritual Gifts

Last night, I went to my first FLO class, and I really, really liked it. I cracked up at the ladies in there, you can truly tell it was a room full of women. As my husband refers to it, cackling hens. HA! Well in the class we took a survey on our personalities, I am a golden retriever by the way. I was not shocked by this, which I guess you could say is perfect for me. I said I didn't want to be a golden retriever, only because sometimes I wish I could be a little better about standing on firm ground. Work in progress, people. We also talked about our spiritual gifts and how we could use them in church. So, anyway. I went home last night and thought about my spiritual gifts, and I talked to Philip about it on the way home from church, telling him I had no idea what my gift was. Is it wrong to ask someone to tell you what your spiritual gift is? No, really. I filled out the survey, where you circle from 1 to 4, 1 being lowest, 4 being highest, on things you are interested in. I rated the highest in administration (no surprise), writing (no surprise there, either), evangelism (wow), and faith (wow, too). I was totally surprised by evangelism and faith, which when you read where you could use these in church, it gave examples of being a new member sponsor, new member project leader, so on and so on, and I could so see that, I could see me being involved in a new member program, a part of a committee, something along those lines, so I asked myself what the problem is. Well, one, I guess my hesitation is fear, fear of rejection, fear that someone might say I am not spiritual enough, another work in progress, well maybe there is not another excuse, because this is a big one for me. I really have to pray about this, because I am not one to jump out there and say come on let's do this, when everything inside of me is screaming for me to be this person. Well folks, if you read this, pray for me and that I will listen to what God is telling me, and I will find my calling and do something I am passionate about and really enjoy it. Oh, by the way I thought about the thing that makes me go YAY, is children, especially girls. When I first wrote that sentence, I wondered if that sounded right, but all children melt my heart and I love too see them growing up and how they change over the years. I love little girls, for one, I am a girl, and two, I love dress up, and all girly things, I know if or when I have children, the Lord is going to bless us with a boy, because He probably figures I need that experience in raising a boy, and our budget would plummet because I would buy everything in sight that was even close to being girly. HA! So I am thinking of what I could do for our girls in the church, and I am going to pray about it and ask God to lead me in the right direction.

Whew, this is a long post, sorry, I just get on a roll and type away.

Many blessings,
Jenn

God won't you make me a momma

This is something I have been known to say so many times. Oh how I long to be a momma, to bring a child into this world, and have he/she serve a mighty purpose. I long to hold my own baby in my arms and feel the love between a mother and her child. I see in my husband's eyes, also, how he longs to be a father, and I believe in my heart, he would make a great one. I always believed out of my friends, I would be the first one with children, and to say, I wasn't, is heartbreaking. I really am happy when I find out one of my friends is pregnant, but naturally I am a little sad, because I want that to be me. I know God has a plan and he does things in his time, and if I have heard once, I have heard a million times, be patient, it will happen, well to hear that, and not really know for sure, it's not comforting. I used to love watching the Baby Story on TLC, but now every time I do, I cry, so to keep me from being an emotional wreck, I choose to stay away from it. I love looking a baby clothes, dreaming of different ways I would decorate the nursery, some times I can get lost in it. My husband pretty much doesn't talk about it, because it hurts him. Here we are, doing right, good honest hard working people, and we can't catch a break, I cry out why God, why not me. It hurts it really does. I remember one time, I honestly believed in my heart, I was pregnant, I just knew it, took a test, said negative, waited another day, took another test, nope, nada, nothing, well two days later my little monthly friend came along, and boy was I upset, I cried, I screamed, and I begged, my husband had to leave the house that day, it was too much for him, and I cried out to God, why can't I be a momma, why can't I have that, what have I done to deserve this, I cried for an hour, I know, and then all of sudden I quit and was at peace, no more tears were shed. I haven't cried over not being a momma in months, and I won't say I won't cry again, I am saying it seems a little easier to bear. Nothing would make me happier than to be a momma, and I want that above all else, but I have to leave it in God's control, and let him lead the way. I have found out I do have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, don't know the specifics, but it does make conceiving difficult, so I am on medicine for that, and there are other issues I am faced with, which makes the situation even harder, but I pray for comfort and patience. I remember when I was younger I said if I didn't have children by the time I was 30, I would not have any, well I am 30 and a couple of months away from being 31, and my husband said well I guess we will just have children in our 30's, believe me this was not part of my plan, I planned on having two children by the time I was 25, well considering I didn't get married until I was 27, that was out of the question. My OB GYN is all for me having children this late, she said women are doing it more and more these days, but she wants to get on the fast track, so in her words by the time I am 35, I will have two. Whew. I say if the Lord blesses me with one, I will be fine. I do have twins on my momma's side, my momma is a twin, and I tease Philip, that is what we will end up with, he doesn't find humor in this, because having two at once, scares him. Heck, me too. I know there are so many out there walking in the same shoes as me, and I know they have shared the same heartache I have, I pray for our comfort, and pray we can give the complete control to God, I honestly have to work on this, I am not good at giving up complete control of anything in my life. I just know God hears my prayers and holds them close to his heart, I pray that he will guide my doctors in the right direction in the trying to conceive journey, and I pray that as I have to go through this trial, I am strong through it all.

This is my prayer I say quite often:
Lord, I thank you for all you have given me and blessed me with. As I do everyday, I praise you for all things. I pray to you right now lord, to take this burden off of my hands, you know the prayer I pray nightly, to be a momma and make my husband a daddy, you witness the pain we both share, and I ask that you lead us in the right direction, you guide the doctors, and you wrap your arms around us and give us comfort in these trying times, Lord you know how many times I have cried out to you, begged you, I pray that when I feel the need to do that, you will give me the strength to overcome it, and know you are in control. I pray I can give you all the control. Lord, I pray for those who are walking the same walk as I am, will know comfort, and I pray they find comfort in you. Thank you Lord for what I am, what I have, and what is to come.

Your child,
Jennifer

Chatter

Well it's just about Friday, and I am really looking forward to the weekend
I plan on doing one thing Saturday and that is go walking for about an hour, then I don't want to leave the house again until Sunday morning
I will be one of the only people in my office, tomorrow, and it's gonna be boring
My husband doesn't feel good today, and I hate it when he is sick, cause he acts like a little baby, LOL, but really I do hate when he is sick
I got my hair cut last night, not drastic, just trimmed, but on March 13, I will be doing something drastic, stay tuned...
I could literally lay my head down on my desk and go to sleep, I don't think my boss would love that, just saying, I could
I wish I could have the body my mom had when she was my age, she was a size 4 and was beautiful, I will never be a size 4, my body doesn't understand size 4, but I would like to get to the weight and size I was when I met Philip
My nephew (michael) saw an old picture of me on our mantle and asked his Uncle Philip who that hot momma was, Philip told him it was me, as if Philip would dare have a pic of another woman on our mantle, anyway, when he found out the pic was of me, he said Aunt Jenn, what happened, HA!!! Kids say the darndest things.
It is such a beautiful day today, and not as cold as it has been
Can't wait for spring, ready to get my yard back in order and ready to buy some more plants for my back patio area
I have the forms to sign up for three 5k Walks in March, I am praying GOd fives me strength to do this, wish me luck

Many Blessings
Jenn

Wacky Wednesday

1. I am extremely tired today, and I don't know why.
2. I enjoyed Walk the Walk at church last night, I really look forward to going.
3. I would like to get who ever would be interested to start walking with me on Saturday mornings at the park by my house, I don't like walking by myself.
4. I feel so much better now that I have been exercising, and I could bend over last night and touch the floor, two weeks ago I could not do that.
5. I wonder if me and Philip will ever have children, I pray about it, but I think I am not putting it fully in God's hands. I am learning....
6. I have 15 years to go before I have my time in with the state, UGGHHH... but ten years flew by, so maybe the 15 will fly by too.
7. I welcome any and all prayers for my journey into spiritual growth, I am learning to be a better person and a better Christian.
8. It seems like there are never enough hours in the day, when I finally get off this evening, I have to get my hair cut, run to Pet Smart, then to Kohl's, to return shoes, and then home, to do my daily chores, and then somehow fit a little exercise before I take my shower and go to bed, WHEW!!!! No wonder I feel rushed during the week, and don't want to rush on the weekends, I like to move at my own pace.
9. I want to take up painting, and really want to try Easely Amused, but don't want to go by myself, don't think I can convince the hubs to do it
10. I can't wait until March 20th, I am going to attempt my first 5k Walk, all prayers are welcome and I am sure will come in handy, this will be a great esteem booster for me.

Many blessings.
Jenn

Tuesday's Blessing

So last night, me and the hubs went to Red Lobster, good food, bad service, so I don't know if we will go back, after we ate, we went to Academy Sports and my husband being a big sports guys, immediately started going in I want this, overload, every where he went he wanted something, I was like whoa back up, let's focus on the mission, a bat, because my husband is forming and playing softball with our Church. Well I am not all that knowledgeable when it comes to stuff like that, I watch it, but have never played it,and my poor husband tried and tried to explain the difference between different things, but to no avail. To the point, see I told you, I get off the point path, he ended up getting three bats for the price of one bat, had they not been on sale, which he got the other two in case someone didn't have a bat and wanted to use his, so thoughtful, huh? Part of me thinks he really wanted to have three bats, I didn't know until last night he never owned his own softball bat, nor owned his own bat bag, (yeah he got one of those too), but I was happy to see him run around like a little boy looking at all the stuff, and seeing his eyes light up. But he did good, cause if he had his way he would have walked out of there with gloves, shirts, pants, softballs, anything he could have thought of. LOL. Well speaking of walking out of there, me and Philip get in our car and were sitting and talking waiting for the car to warm up a little, and noticed the man who had tattoos all over his face and head and a woman, who walked in while we were paying for our stuff, were running out, I told Philip I bet they just stole something, he was like no way, and then I saw the associates come running, and the man and woman took off in their car, luckily we got the tag number and we were able to give it to the store associates, so maybe the police were able to catch them. I will pray for those two people, that God speaks to their hearts and they will change their ways, because in my eyes there is nothing worse than a thief.

Well on to thanking our God, for giving me the motivation to start Walk the Walk, continue on that, and giving me the strength and encouragement to start preparing for the 5K Walk in April. I went out and bought me a heart rate monitor, calorie counter watch, last night, and I am very excited to see how that works. I found out I have went down two bra sizes, so that makes me feel so good. I will continue to give God his praises, because he is my motivator, and the one who pushes me when I feel like I have no strength. Thank you God.

Well I hope everyone has a blessed Tuesday.

Many Blessings
Jennifer

It's Monday again...

Well it snowed on Friday, and I got a snow day, not a given one, but I took my own personal snow day. Me and Philip were both off and we played and played in the snow, it was fun. We got lots of pics, and made a snow man, who only stayed upright for about an hour. I love snow and its beauty, and I give God the praises for letting us have the opportunity to see it.

We missed Church yesterday, for several reasons, one being I laid in the bed until 3, but really didn't get a good sleep. The other being, me nor Philip set the alarm, so at 10:45, Philip woke me up to tell me what time it was and to ask if I could be ready in 15 minutes, well no, unless I was going with no makeup and my hair a hot mess, I mean I know God sees me at my finest and my worst, but I don't really want other people to see me looking rough. But my point, I hate missing church, it seems as if my week doesn't start off right, which low and behold, it started off crappy, drama and all, but I will pray for those that are creating turmoil in my family, and ask that God give me the strength to accept not everyone has good sense.

I really can't wait until July 16th, me, Philip, Michael, and Nicole are going to Atlanta to see an Atlanta Braves game, we will be there until Sunday, I think it's gonna be a blast. I want to lose a good amount of weight before we go, so I will feel good about myself, and enjoy myself a little better, knowing if I have to walk around, I won't be out of breath so easily.

I am going to start preparing to do a 5K walk, in April, I am really excited, I believe it will be a great self esteem boost, if anyone wants to join with me, come on. I have learned in order to lose the amount of calories for the week I am supposed to, I must walk for 45 minutes three times a week woo hoo, it's gonna be a challenge, but I know with God's help I will conquer this.

I got a stuffed lion, a rose, and a cute card for Valentine's Day, my husband does so good at this, he makes my heart melt, every time he shows me just how much he loves me.

Well I hope we all have a good week.

Blessings,
Jenn

Let it snow, let it snow

Well we are supposed to get some snow later on this evening, and I really hope we do. Even though I will probably have to be at work tomorrow. Boo!!! I love snow, and love playing in it. My mom has tried to get me to come up to New York during the winter for years, I want to play in it, not get lost in it. Me and my friend Kelly went up there one year in May and it snowed, a lot. So I don't think I will be trying the winter thing. Snow is so pure to me, it's almost like it wipes all the bad things away for just a little while, where everything seems at peace. Bring on the snow, lots and lots of it, I want a SNOW DAY!!!!

I am in need of seem intense prayer, there is a issue going on in my family, which I know the Devil is all over this, and it has really bothered me. I have gotten to the point, where I am not backing down and letting people walk over me or my husband, I am actually speaking my mind and letting my feelings out, and I am shocking all those involved. When someone tries to hurt someone I love very much, I go on the defense and want to attack, but instead of attacking I have called these people out on their behavior and also told them we don't need unhealthy in our lives, and that is the direction we are taking. Me and Philip are trying to be better people, get better involved in our church, and every time the Devil rears his ugly head, but this time I am prepared and I am praying, and I have someone praying with me, and I am stronger because of this, I will not allow people who are cold, evil hearted to hurt me or my husband again. I am able to stand my ground, and not back down, because I know even if I fall I have the good Lord picking me back up.

Well yall if you get to stay home tomorrow and it snows have a good time.

Tuesday Tuesday

1. It's cold outside, and the heat at work is out, figure that out, and they don't know when they will be able to fix it. Thank goodness for small heaters
2. I went to an Arts and Crafts get together at our church and had a lot of fun, we made Valentine's day cards for the shut-ins. It made me feel good to do this, and I hope the lady I sent mine to knows how much went into making the card, and really hope she knows she is loved, especially by God.
3. I heard one of the ladies, talk about her little boy, when she explained what they were doing, he told her he wanted to make a card to go to Haiti, this made my heart melt, for a little boy to understand the devestation the people of Haiti are experiencing and want to send something over to lift someone's spirit, is awesome. Way to go little man!
4. I am still heart broken for Peyton Manning and his loss, but find myself really enjoying watching Drew Brees and the Saints celebrate.
5. I saw pictures of where 10,000 people were waiting for them when the Saints got off the plane in New Orleans, all I can say is WOW
6. I am following my food intake on myfitnesspal.com, and I am really enjoying it, and find it very helpful, but I will admit, I did not enter the food I consumed during Super Bowl, I would have probably exceeded my calorie intake for the next year. LOL
7. I want to do something new to my hair, but don't know what, cutting it short is out of the question and dying it is too, so I think I will go with a new style.
8. Yes after 5 years of having long hair, I decided to cut my hair one day and surprise my husband, boy was he surprised, I think he wanted to cry, he had no problem telling me how bad he hated it, so then I cried, but after washing it and seeing how short it actually was, I understood the shock he felt.
9. After spending this past summer without being able to put my hair in a pony tail, I decided never again, I would not cut my hair too short where I could not throw it in a pony tail, is too dang hot people.
10. I need a pedicure so bad, it's ridiculous, but am almost too embarassed for someone to see my feet, don't get me wrong, I clip my toe nails, and scrub my feet with some tool I bought, and I put lotion on my feet, but it doesn't compare to the treatment they get when I get a pedicure, maybe I will do that next weekend.
11. I hope it snows Friday, but I really hope I get to stay home
12. I hope I get to sleep in Saturday
13. I hope Philip doesn't have to go out of town this week
14. I get really aggravated when I call somewhere and have to speak to twelve different people before I get to the right person
15. I can't wait to go to Walk the Walk tonight, I missed all last week, and really need to get back in the swing of things.
16. I have decided I am going to make myself get on my eliptical trainer three nights a week, I know it won't be long before I will actually get to the point where I don't want to miss it, but I am so not there
17. My dogs looked so comfy laying in their beds this morning, wish I could have stayed in mine
18. Philip's new Gevalia coffee came in yesterday, and they smell so good, but I hate coffee so I won't get to know what they taste like, coffee makes me sick to my stomach
19. One of the coffee is creme brulee flavor, and when I saw the box, it reminded me of the Nationwide commercial,where the two guys are tailgating and the one guy mispronounces all the food, I laugh every time I think of it, especially how he says creme brulee. LOL
20. Well we have made it through Monday, now on to the rest of Tuesday.

Manic Monday

The Saints won the Superbowl, finally.
I was pulling for the Colts, because Peyton is my all time favorite, but I was glad the Saints finally got a championship. I do like Drew Brees alot, and after reading articles and watching his pregame interview, I have a renewed respect for him, not only for what he has done for his team, but for New Orleans. I am sure for the Colts it was a humbling experience, and you know what they say sometimes you have to get knocked down only to get back up. Peyton and the Colts will be fine and can start fresh next year, I mean come on, they have made it to the post season the last 7 or 8 years.

The only thing I am dreading is my husband gloating, we didn't kill each other last night, but there were times it got intense, LOL. It makes him proud, though, to have a football buddy in his wife, two for one kinda deal.

Well it is the start of a new week, and although I am ready for this weekend, I am looking forward to what the Lord has in store for me, this week.

Well I pray we all have a good week, and we remember to Praise God for the blessings of another day

Funky Friday

Thank you Lord Jesus for letting this day be Friday, and the last work day.
This week has been hard for me, I have had to deal with a sinus infection and an abcessed tooth, talk about a whole lot of pain, I can't even describe it to you. But I finally got the nerve up to call the oral surgeon and schedule a consultation visit to get my wisdom teeth out,so at least I am moving in the right direction. I have had to miss Walk the Walk all this week, and I have hated it, I don't want to get out of the groove of going, and besides I had a setback at the doctor the other day, my bp is still up, so now my meds have been doubled, and this was not at all what I expected to hear. I have officially lost 3 lbs, but I have a long way to go, and pray I have the strength to keep going even on my down and out days. I must give God his praises, because this program is what I have been praying and searching for, and I thank him for putting Danyelle in the right place and right time to start this. I also must give him praises for the new people in my life, I can't wait to see what impact we have on each other's lives. Well that's enough for now, I am ready for the Super Bowl, and it's gonna be loud in our house, I am for the Colts and Philip is for the Saints, pray for us, that we don't kill each other. LOL

Jabbering Jenn

Today the ole Groundhog Phil saw his shadow, so six more weeks of winter
I have to leave work early to get maintenance work done on the car, excited about leaving work, not excited about sitting at a car shop
Tonight is Walk the Walk, and I can't wait
I want a Wii, so I can get Wii Fit, maybe one day
I am really looking forward to going and seeing the Atlanta Braves play this year, we are taking the niece and nephew
I really want a big glass of tea, that will be the first thing I get when I get home, love tea, but mine is made like syrup, so it's not exactly good for me
I am proud to report, I have lost two pounds in a week, woo hoo
I love my new wireless mouse at work, it's so much better than all the wires on my desk.
I have a tendency to give looks that could kill, and don't mean to, a little something I picked up from my mom
I have being praying a lot lately that the good Lord will send me in the direction he wants me to go, to show me where I need to be in our new church, still working on it.
My husband is forming a men's church softball league with Steve Stapleton, and I really hope there is a good participation, he will also be doing something with the youth this summer, he just doesn't know what yet, prayers and more prayers.
I realized the other day, that some times the people you are closest to, can be the first people to hurt you the most. Prayers on that also.

So anyway, blessing and prayers to everyone.

Scattered brained

Scattered brained is what I get called alot, and I guess you could say for the most part I am. At any moment, I can have a hundred things going on in my mind and I hardly ever finish a story before jumping to another one. This makes my husband so mad. So if you follow this blog and you get confused, I will eventually get around to making sense.

I felt the need to thank God for this day and this life he has given me, thank him for my husband, the people he has placed in my life, whether long term or short term, and most of all thank him for the sacrifice he made for us. Thank you God!!!!

Whole bunch of thoughts

1. The weekend goes by way too fast
2. I am thrilled beyond thrilled, that me and Philip found a wonderful church home
3. Yesterday's sermon hit home with me, when Calvin talked about harming your temple and neglecting it, and not listening to the warnings (I am a poster child for this)
4. I keep dreaming about a blue eyed baby, wonder if that is a sign
5. Wonder if that would be possible considering I have dark brown eyes and Philip has hazel eyes.
6. I am so looking forward to the Super Bowl, but it's gonna be tough in my home, I am going for the Colts, and Philip is going for the Saints
7. I have watched Peyton Manning play football since his Tennessee days
8. I am a Tennessee fan and my husband is a big Ole Miss fan, makes for some interesting times when they play each other
9. I am really looking forward to what God has in store for me, I feel each day I grow closer to him
10. I had an awesome time at our church Fellowship last night, it was nice to talk to some folks who didn't know us and we didn't know them
11. I am at work on this Monday and all I can focus on is how after today, only four more working days til the weekend, that is awful....
12. I enjoy going to Walk the Walk, it has made a big impact on me, and really hope if anyone is hesitant, they at least try.
13. The first day I went, I tried to come up with 50 different excuses not to go, and I am so glad I went.
14. I have to find the nerve to get my wisdom teeth cut out, I am so scared.
15. I am looking forward to the spring, not so much the summer, but the spring, so I can do some yard work.
16. I somehow missed the boat, when it comes to gardening, I can't keep flowers to save my life, I water and feed them and they still die.
17. Plants I can do, we had a Boston Fern, it just died due to the arctic blasts we seem to receive every other day, it was too big to go in the house (I will get another one this spring)
18. My husband is my best friend, he is the only person I tell everything to, sometimes he wishes I wouldn't though, he is not good with the girlie stuff. HA
19. My two dogs have become a very special part of my life, when the good Lord takes them, I will be crushed beyond belief, I wonder if I could comprehend then what it would feel like to lose a child
20. Lastly, I pray for a safe and happy week, I pray for patience, humbleness, gentleness, and most of all the good Lord to give me the strength to hold back a little when I feel the need to give my opinion (this is something I have inherited from my husband, he has no problems sharing his opinion, if you don't want it from him, don't ask cause he tells it like it is)

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OMG, what is wrong with Lane Kiffin

Ok, woke up this morning to find out my favorite college football team, Tennessee, as of this moment doesn't have a head coach.  Lane Kiffin decided to go and coach USC, all in one day.  Not that I liked the man all that much, but dang, where is the loyalty.  Obviously he ain't got it.  I was really mad when they let Philip Fulmer go, in a way you can say, right now he is getting his sweet justice.  I am sure he didn't want this, but see what happens when you think the grass is green on the other side.   Considering National Signing Day is weeks away,  I am sure this is messing with some recruits.  So once again, Lane screws Tennessee.  He said he wanted to put the team and university back in the conversation, yeah, by having a big mouth, calling out Urban Meyer and Florida, only to get thumped, forgetting to show up when you played Ole Miss, and now this.  It doesn't matter that recruits were serious about coming to Tennessee, now all they see is a university without a head football coach, so why would they commit to that.  Thanks Lane Kiffin for all you did for us Tennessee Volunteers fan, I hope you get all you deserve at USC. 

Am I being harsh, I am just plain mad over this, and needed to vent.

Monday blues

So it's Monday again, another weekend flew by.  Which the weekend didn't start off wonderful anyway, my friend/neighbor was admitted in the hospital for asthmatic bronchitis, so I was worried about her and had to take care of her pets.  But luckily she is ok, and she is at home.  I am starting to have issues with my sinuses, so it's just a matter of time before I have to make a trip to the doctor.  Boo!  Well nothing major happened in my world over the weekend, me and the hubs watched football, football, and more football.  My husband is so lucky to have a sports loving wife, who is as intense as he is over them.  I am not a lifetime movie kinda girl, I will watch them every once in a while, but they make me cry usually and I don't enjoy that.  Don't get me wrong I am a big sap, who is very emotional, and I love cartoons, (the old ones), kid movies, and romance movies, but I also love action movies, horror movies, (some, not all), and suspense/drama movies.  So I guess you could say I love all kinds.   I made my husband smile Saturday morning by making him breakfast in bed, he has done this for me plenty, but I have never done it for him, so I got up way before he did, and started cooking, and the whole time I am trying to be quiet and keep the dogs quiet, which by the way is not easy, so as not to wake him up, and I get it all made, about to put everything on his plate, and the phone rings, and he wakes up, so he comes in the living room and I have to tell him to go back to bed, for once no argument, he did so, so I made his plate and set everything up for him, I wake him up and tell him surprise, he was happy, but we then realized it is not exactly easy to eat in the bed, so we moved to the living room, so he had a semi breakfast in bed, but either way he loved it.  Well Happy Monday.  Pray for a blessed week.

My Daddy's Birthday

Well today I dedicate this blog to my Daddy, because it is his birthday.  Happy Birthday Daddy!  Me and my dad don't live close to each other, so there's not many birthdays we share together, but we know each of us think of each other on this special day and every day for that matter.  My dad is one of my favorite men, and until my husband came along, he was my only favorite man.  My poor daddy, has to share me with some other guy who comes along and steals his baby girl, bad man.  Naw, we love Philip.  I have always thought my Dad hung the moon, and could never ever do wrong.  I still believe that, by the way, just now I realize we are all made with some flaws.  I almost lost my dad in July of 2007, it was one of the worst days of my life, where I thought this could be it, he might not be able to say it's ok baby girl I am gonna be okay.  I can remember getting the call from Brenda, saying he was going to the ER and I needed to come, I couldn't comprehend, this wasn't my first rodeo with my Dad going to the hospital, but this time felt different, and something told me so.  I called my husband and we rushed to the coast, when we got there they were still running tests and figuring things out.  We waited and waited, and they took us all to the ICU waiting room.  My dad is so loved, there were alot of people.  I remember sitting there thinking of all the times we had together the good, the bad, the ugly, but it didn't matter at that moment, all I wanted was for my daddy to be ok.  The doctor came out and wanted to speak to me and Brenda, so we went back there and got to see him, it was heartbreaking to see him, swollen, hooked up to IV's, monitors, and not being awake, I looked at him and realized this was not my Daddy, where is my daddy I thought, and I lost it, I had to walk out and the minute I walked out the ICU doors I fell to my knees, and I couldn't hold it anymore, I cried and cried, and all I could remember is my husband picking me off the floor and holding me, which is great, cause he doesn't deal well with me crying.  My dad had to have surgery to go in and relieve some pressure from his brain, and clip a brain aneurysm,. What happened, as he was shaving he dropped like a sack of potatoes and was gone, but through the might power of prayer he came back to us, five hours later he came out of surgery, and the doctor said the road would be long but he would recover.  Well the next day, we had to leave because we were closing on our new home, yeah in the middle of all of that we go through this, so that night I get a call that my dad, who they said wouldn't for a while, woke up, pulled his vent tube out, and started speaking, praise the Lord, so to this day my Dad is a walking miracle.  Me and my dad are not as close as I would love for us to be, and part of that is my fault, and I miss that so much, I wish he lived closer, I wish him and my husband could go fishing, I wish that when we have kids, I could take them around the block and down the street to Papaw's house, and drop them off, but it's not like that, and it makes me sad sometimes, but it's life, and we go on.  I pray that I can find a way to be a better daughter to my Dad and that he knows no matter what I love him so very much and even though I am not there on his birthday, that he can imagine I am wrapping my arms around his neck and giving him a big hug.  I love you Daddy, Happy Birthday.